Judgement worthy?

Also written a long time ago.

I have worked hard to get where I am; where I can have and do the things I want.

I have, what I believe to be, a very limited number of things I am particular about.

Because I have a house on the east coast and am setting up a household near my daughter and have the potential to assume long-term assignments where setting up a household makes sense...having multiples of the things I love seems reasonable.

I LOVE my Nespresso machine...having three of them for my three households doesn't seem overly indulgent to me because there are SO few things that I feel that way about. And in the end, it's far cheaper than Starbucks. I've paid for one of them with 50 coffee's (and I have 2-3 a day), that's less than a month.

There is a lot of snide commenting from my mother about such things.

What I spend on shampoo and conditioner has been the subject of aghast comment. When I got my first serious job and bought a purse I'd been pining over for months...she couldn't resist commenting about it to everyone we encountered when I carried it about how much I'd paid for it.

I feel the need to hide this part of myself from her as she makes me feel like a snooty snob...but when you find something you love...why is it so bad, if you are able, to have it with you everywhere?

Am I a snooty snob or is she just resentful that I've put myself in a position where I can do such things?

I write that and get the answer rather quickly...it's resentment. It's exhausting.

I never buy anything for how it makes me appear to others. I HATE designer bags that are nothing but an advertisement for the designer because being able to afford one of their bags is a status symbol of some kind. That's not what I like. I like things that are pretty or functional.

I don't like to make eye contact when I'm driving my cars, I don't have them because I want attention. I have them because I love the sound and the feeling of driving them. They are a connection to my real father and my step-dad.

I hate feeling like I have to apologize for being successful when I don't go out of my way to bring attention to my success.