I'm talking with a married man on FetLife. I find married men who are cheating fascinating though I won't be playing with him.
I learned that most of these men, while they try to paint their home lives as deplorable...typically they are actually very happy...except in the bedroom. They love their wife, they love their kids, they love the lifestyle they've created...but the sex isn't there. And for some, they don't want "their wife" to be doing the things that they want a mistress to do anyway.
I am best friends with the father of my child. We haven't been intimate in nearly twenty years but I tell him I love him all the time, and I do. We've lived together off and on over the years, many times actually, and I loved the life we built together in those times. To come home to dinner waiting or have it waiting for him, to have someone to share the day with, to be able to share fears and dreams, get support, give support, share family...it was everything I want in a relationship...without the sex.
And yes, he did things that got on my nerves and I'm sure I did as well. But we loved each other enough to get past that.
I can see you and I living that life, dancing that dance. I don't think it has to be one or the other. Neither of us will be perfect, but we'll love one another enough to get past the annoyances and focus on the harmonies. What we're doing outside of the bedroom will be just as important as what we're doing in it.
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