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I believe in your existence

My Submissive Personal Ad to Manifest You into my Life

Manifesting you

For a long time, I believed you didn't exist. Over the past several years, I have started to believe in the possibility of you but I've...

Feb 7, 2021

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ABOUT ME

I am what you've been looking for. I believe there is only one you, just as there is only one me.

This is written for you. Others will read and eventually fall away, but you will stay because all of my words and thoughts will resonate with you.

Two years?

I can't believe it's been nearly two years since I've written to you on here. I had been writing on fet and though I've taken it all...

Jan 191 min read

What I Learned on Sex-cation

Make sure my primary partner realizes up front how many FWBs are involved Make sure the FWBs actually are okay with sharing Make sure the...

Mar 10, 20232 min read

Dungeon Night

So, I went to my first dungeon night. It was not what I expected...though I realize in hindsight it's because I had very unrealistic...

Jan 8, 20234 min read

Merry Fucking Christmas

I truly don't care about Christmas. It's not the fact that it's Christmas that is so fucking depressing. It's that RV is done with me. ...

Dec 25, 20221 min read

I checked...it's not a full moon...

...but men are being fucking insane tonight. Not only is RV being ridiculous. JS invited me to meet him after a concert, then told me not...

Dec 2, 20221 min read

Epiphany

I'm realizing something in my response to men I'm talking to. I have little to no respect for a man (Dom) who is in a miserable...

Nov 28, 20221 min read

What would today be like?

I'm thinking about you today. Here with me waiting to drive two hours for Thanksgiving with family tomorrow. I know we would have fucked...

Nov 23, 20221 min read

Excuses

I watch us look for reasons to justify our behavior. For reasons to be apart. For reasons to doubt. For reasons to question. For reasons...

Nov 23, 20221 min read

Time

I'm hoping time away will allow my mind to quiet and get the perspective it so desperately needs my love. Time to rebuild my broken down...

Nov 12, 20221 min read

War

I'm at war with myself. I know what I want, yet I feel so exhausted in the pursuit. I feel the enormous push to trick myself into...

Nov 10, 20221 min read

Fighting

I've never been one to fight for things that are personally important to me. I've gotten a little better when it comes to fighting for...

Nov 6, 20222 min read

The Void

It's funny, I've been thinking lately how the absence of something I can conceive of is more painful than the nothingness of the void I...

Nov 6, 20221 min read

Filters

Written over several days and transitions... It's hard to write now that I am feeling like I may have found you...thinking you might be...

Nov 6, 20222 min read

If I know better...

...why do I do this to myself? I remember driving up the street, just past the intersection at First heading toward home...talking to...

Nov 6, 20221 min read

That four letter L*** word

I had the privilege of dating a man who I knew was emotionally unavailable to me (he was recovering from a devastating break-up). Though...

Oct 29, 20221 min read

Bondage

I don't know what it is about bondage. It's a psychological thing for sure. There is something about feeling that powerless and out of...

Oct 27, 20221 min read

Long flight

I was flying cross country last week. In an effort to be gracious with my employer and minimize my time out of the office, I opted to...

Jul 23, 202211 min read

Tears

My tears are because I wish you were part of tonight. It was everything I had hoped it would be, everything I needed physically...but you...

Jul 20, 20221 min read

Plunge

I'm working on a story for you, I got a bit stalled on it but hope to finish it this weekend. I do need to confess that I'm going to take...

Jul 20, 20221 min read

Apology

I am sorry I've been away for so long. I don't have a compelling excuse. I was just feeling a bit hopeless and disconnected from you if...

Jun 29, 20221 min read

Friends or Lovers? How about Friends AND Lovers?

I'm talking with a married man on FetLife. I find married men who are cheating fascinating though I won't be playing with him. I learned...

May 14, 20221 min read

Evaded the trap

I had ALMOST allowed myself to "settle" into something with someone who wasn't you. The number of red flags that told me the was a bad...

Apr 30, 20221 min read

Soulmate Definition

I saw the below today and it so made me think of you... "A soulmate isn’t someone who completes you. No, a soulmate is someone who...

Apr 10, 20221 min read

Essential

I was communicating with an executive assistant this week. She is someone I've barely interacted with as I don't meet often with her...

Apr 9, 20221 min read

How do you convince yourself unicorns are real?

I've not known what to say to you of late. I've been struggling with the challenge that recurs for me...believing you aren't real. I get...

Mar 18, 20221 min read

Out of Practice

I'm out of practice working from home, being around family 24/7, being out of my routine. I'm even unfamiliar with my own bed,...

Feb 28, 20221 min read

Inevitable

Given my job it was inevitable that I would be selected for jury duty and miss it. I guess technically I didn't totally miss it, I saw...

Feb 20, 20221 min read

Friends

My best friend and I truly can’t have a meal that lasts under four hours. I looked at my watch when we were at lunch the last time we...

Feb 12, 20221 min read

Dream Last Night

I had a very interesting dream last night. I don't remember everything, as we never do of our dreams. I know it started off with just...

Feb 2, 20222 min read

Forks

I hate forks in the road. Several alternatives but having to choose and commit to one. I can never help but worry that the one I'm...

Jan 29, 20221 min read